Monday, August 25, 2008

Let's play: Get To Know Your Chain Store or Restaurant

Okay, I've had it. I can't stand listening to established, cultured human beings constantly refer to pop culture places of business by a name that they are just... not!

Read the name on the building, people. It's something different than what you're saying.

This rant stems from my reading and hearing gross misnomers of popular places. For example, Nordstroms.

 

Nordstroms? Really? Go read it. What does it say?

No "S." Perhaps if you are planing on shopping at more than 2 Nordstrom department stores, you'd say "I need more expensive, fancy underwear so I'll be going to 42 Nordstroms today." But that's probably not the case 99.999999% of the time. Therefore, if you plan on shopping to the tune of the baby grand piano, just simply say "The half yearly sale at Nordstrom is tomorrow. Yay!" and call it a day. Perhaps this gross mispronunciation of an additional "S" comes from other stores that DO have an "S" (usually possessive) in their names, such as Macy's or Mervyn's. That shouldn't matter though. It's a simple task of reading and repeating.

This above phenomenon goes for deliciously-famous-for-gigantic-portions Claim Jumper. I constantly hear Claim Jumpers. And it's wrong. Nope. One. Just one claim jumper. Only one little mean miner guy who violates another man's land claim. One. See? I'm not even lying:

 

Get ready, because this one really irks me. Not only does it change the spelling, but changes the meaning! Ready? Ok, here it is. The violation: Victoria Secrets.

WHAT?! Really?

I'm cutting to the chase. It's Victoria's Secret. See here:

I mean, the running joke for years and years and years has been "Wonder what's Victoria's Secret even IS?" If the name was actually <shudder> Victoria Secrets, than that little wink-wink-nudge-nudge of a joke wouldn't even make sense!  I guess I just don't understand why it's so difficult to make the proper noun possessive and keep the 2nd noun singular. It's a story, an enticing name of a lingerie store. It's something to discover: "If you come in here and try on these ridiculously small panties, you shall discover .... Victoria's Secret." Oooooo. It's stupid and dramatic, but it's a multi-gazillion dollar business with a published, branded name. Use it.

The rules of English just make sense to me the same way the rules of math make sense to other people (NOT me! I wish!). While I have my frustrations with gross misprintings of words -- commonly seen are possessive vs. plural issues -- I think this (Nordstroms, Claim Jumpers, Victoria Secrets) bites at me more because, well, they're all proper names. The work's been done for us. We don't have to think. We just have to read it and pronounce it (or write it). It's a simple game of copy-cat. And yet, it's still  a problem. If we can't even just mimic an already-created and branded name, then society will never get the actual rules of English that need real, actual attention.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Hi-friggin-larious. Even though I have to admit that I'm a "Nordstrom's" offender, this one was right up my ali.

MissJordyPants said...

I love you Ali.